Cheating and you (or me)

Is cheating in small things something that will affect the rest of your life? I have to wonder because I have to admit: I cheat.

I cheat on sudoku. The hard ones. Specifically, the tough ones here. I do them every day, and only once have I succeeded in solving the toughest one without guessing. Sometimes it only takes one guess, sometimes many, but I use the "check moves" option as often as necessary to finish in one sitting.

What I'm wondering, though, is whether or not this little cheat has an impact on my view of cheating in the rest of my life. For instance, I once abhorred the thought of passing over the speed limit; now, I consider it to be acceptable to go "5 over" on the highway. Are these things related? Am I on a downward spiral that will lead to data purgery and professional ruin? Or am I over-reacting?

I try to maintain a strict ethical code in my life. I don't lie, I buy local and pay extra for organic, I don't set foot in Walmart -- but even there I have a little cheat (Target). Is it possible to live by your principles in absolutely everything? I suppose that depends on the principles in question; I could easily live by the 'moral' of looking out for number 1.

I'm reminded of Paul, when he wrote "For what I would, I do not; but what I hate, I do" (Romans 7:15). I often think of that passage, because it applies so well to me. Procrastination, laziness, impatience, and yes, cheating are all things that I hate doing, but I do them. I so rarely live entirely the way I want. I suppose if I did, there would be nothing to work for; then again, if I lived up to my ideals, I would be happy to work without the impetus of self-improvement (motivation is one of those areas in which I fail frequently).

So, self-improvement in mind, I should stop cheating. Does that mean I should stop trying to do the sudokus that are beyond my ability? Or stop trying to finish them? I don't know. I don't even know if I'll stop cheating on them, even after all of this. But I will think about it seriously if I do.